mustard seed on a counter

in the course of beginning to understand what it means to offer what i write, i have reached out to a few people - with not a lot of success. this creates in me a feeling of a 'mustard seed on a counter.' to explain, according to yeshua (and all other sages of the ages, in so many words), if one will but have the faith of a tiny mustard seed one can move mountains. i believe that, because i know what a tiny seed is capable of ... think acorns and mighty oaks...

that single thought sort of took hold in me. in sorting it all out, i came to see myself as a mustard seed on a counter - so full of promise and unequivocal knowing of my power inside, but without the conditions required - sun, rain, soil, moon - to bring forth the potential inherent in all forms of embryo. no matter how hard i strove to realize the marvelous capacity locked tight in my shell, all my determination was simply no match for ceramic. 

upon realizing how acute the possibility within me, i began (consciously) visualizing growth by way of my own movement from the counter. i saw myself, as tiny mustard seed, swept off the counter and into the pocket of an apron. i then gathered myself and with all my strength jumped myself into the hand of the farmer's wife reaching into the pocket. and voila, i found myself planted! 

in having the conditions for reaching my power now met i relished in my new-found surroundings and rested for a moment. within a few hours i felt the first massive burst as a jolt of sheer energy. no longer able to contain the swelling mass, i felt the force of cracking open my tiny shell as the root began sprouting from me. feasting in the moist warmth of nutritious, worked and well aerated soil, i was overjoyed to see, feel myself growing and growing ... and the words flowing and flowing. in that time i wrote and wrote and wrote, my words themselves becoming mustard seeds on a counter - their only purpose in that particular moment to be come themselves...

while i no longer see the vision, i know it happened, and watched myself grow into a beautiful and healthy mustard plant. the purpose of a plant is to create more of itself, and i was overjoyed in knowing that this was happening. here's where the vision 'seems' to have stopped. it was enough for a time to just 'know' that this had happened, and that the seeds produced by me as mustard plant would eventually create even more of themselves ... 

fast forward to now - i yearn to know more for my self and my life. i realize in writing this, that i suppose i somehow forgot in that time to ask the mountain to move, but know that i was moved to delve deeply, and have been searching non-stop for my own best since -- for the conditions to be met so that spirit in me can see itself as i want to be. 

i believe that is our purpose here : to create ourselves so that the divine may see itself in our own unique expression of itself. 



thank you lucille ... you inspired me.