Monday, October 9, 2017

a dream of my own making

In the breath today was : please forgive me.

I gave a few moments to remembrance of relationships that I have personally fractured ...

People come and go throughout life. This is fact. That person who touches your soul, who makes you sing to the rooftops, and who is there for you through it all ... for me, there has been only one such person : and he is my best friend.

He has been with me for almost 6 of the very best years of my life, and I search for every path in the world to create my own way. I am interested in the concept that a person may create their own existence in the world : so interested, in fact, that i've taken it on … and am steadfastly creating for myself a dream of my own making. I know it to be true that i have become in my present, a dream manifest (and i've heard over and over and over that this is the place we must go in order to do this work). I've got a vision for how I think it should look, and at the moment, my scenario is matching my vision fairly closely. I am also absolutely open (and have intentionally surrendered) to the journey that has miraculously opened itself for the fulfillment of my dream … so, this is where I am at the start of this journey.

Yesterday I was breathing in the power of the natural world and breathing out peace, healing into the world of man. I welcome you to read about it in a post entitled 'safe in the storm.'

I want to know if I am a writer or an author … I write, a lot, and I enjoy reading it, which is, really, the fire that keeps me stoked . I think I like the freedom within being a writer . There is only responsibility to yourself, the writer, in the creation of it (whatever it is) … you're not beholden to an audience's whim, nor an attachment to a success oriented standard of living … caveat : becoming source in oneself in the realm of living well may involve a bit of flexing the 'normal' ideas of 'living well.'

success in the realm of 'author' brings all the glory : all the praise : and the necessity to be come in yourself part of the glory and praise.

The truth is : if the way forward includes 'author' (or even 'successful author') I don't think i'd spurn the opportunity to create my own rules around it, which is (also) my right … the treasure, I have learned, is faith. The word itself has been assigned to a realm I do not identify with, so I created my own rules around it too... faith for me is seeing life itself in action, and knowing that I am safely a part of it all; and that I have a part to play in it, and that it will be my choice (always) to play my part. I am reminded often to “keep your faith, child … keep your faith : and I do … gratefully.

The magnificent irony here is that, although I am truly aware that I have fractured (or lost, somehow) almost all of the relationships I have had in this realm, I have availed myself of the opportunity to become a more diligent seeker of truth : the discovery of who I truly am. To any/all that I (may) have harmed, I do ask for forgiveness. You may know that I have learned the lessons of our split, and that although we may never again meet, you are precious in my heart. Know, also, that I welcome you into my life, should you want to ...

Namaste. Happy trails.