Wednesday, March 30, 2016

change gon'na come

the thing i know about change is that it never changes. it is the only thing that doesn't, and we may as well get used to it ... it sure makes more sense to just give it up and expect it, because it's gon'na happen anyway.

google : change

in service to change, i offer deference to the power inside myself to create my universe as i want it to be ... on the outside. it's feeling fairly full inside now, and i am ready to enjoy all this creating i've been doing; consciously watching it grow, change, be come itself. i created it joyful in my mind, therefore, it is being enjoyable, and all the (momentary) chaos that surrounds bringing light as i can, where i can, are lessons from which i may adjust my perspective, 'cause life does, in fact, happen. about the only control we (may) have over it is focus : it's going to show up how it does, and the truth is that what we bless, expands.

it is i'mpossible to know how (and that's not our job anyway) ... our job is to act when we are handed opportunity, and to expect good fortune in its outcome. it is then our job to learn to know the rest; therefore we must practice. whatever comes is inclusive of your (present) journey here, and you are designing it. (therefore, you are free to re-design.) no matter what your situation or circumstance, you must see who you want to be in the world, and then be who you want the world to know : because all will know, when the light inside ourselves for good is rekindled.

this is not i'mpossible, in fact, it is a required course ... its mission, our very own purpose here. we are (all) good enough : perspective notwithstanding. if we search for peace, we will find peace. the converse (in all its names) is also true.

which gets us back to 'change.' our very own purpose here is inclusive of the circumstance we've gotten ourselves to ... the only power we actually have is the power to create ourselves as we ourselves say we are : and, we are the only species here that has the need to. all others know their purpose when they arrive. it is such a shame what we are doing to ourselves.

perhaps if we look to the guidance of our own sweet mother (whose air we breathe and whose water we thirst for, and whose body we consume : in peace and in war), who tries as hard as she can to forgive us and to heal herself because of us,

because she herself is blessed:

All this time
The Sun never says to the Earth,

"You owe me."

What happens
With a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.”

― حافظ (hafiz : persian poet, b. 1326)

here's to finding my very own piece of peace.

yes, it is going to change the way the world works for me, but that's its purpose : all energies love their own best manifestation, including me. i accept. i know myself an open and willing vessel - for the light of the world begins with the acknowledgement of my self as light, and I AM. also, my very own 'that' begins here: I AM that, I AM.

i am (also) grateful (thank you) for my gift(s) : they are many and plenty. ...and I AM enough. i am all i have, and i delve/plan to see myself in the center of my own dream : i believe it, and that's enough : it is the gift i have, and I AM thank-ful.

I AM creating ... creating ... creating, and so it is.

it is enough to simply say, thank you, I AM.

namaste traveler.

Friday, March 25, 2016


the great presence within us, divine intelligence:

we call it light because 
it is the power in us to overcome darkness

what do you do when you realize you are (finally) grasping the brass ring itself and you may have just blown your one shot??? maybe you didn't, but maybe you did ... but maybe you didn't ... maybe what you did was to go for it and then forgive yourself for a bit of imperfection. who says it's a perfect world anyway ... and who gets to say what perfect is anyway? 

therefore, i choose to bless the forward : i am in service to having my life as i choose it, and i acknowledge its imperfection as natural. i know that, in the 'try' of it lives its breath. in the I AM AWESOME! of it lives its passion, and in the I WILL of it lives its momentum. so, I AM great-ful for the opportunity i've given myself to 'blow it,' for what i know is I AM going for it ... and knowing myself capable, worthy, and in alignment with purpose is what I AM in this realm ... as it is supposed to be - 

i choose (because i can) to be connected to source and live within a way of being in which the spirit of light gives life - to the dreams inside : the ones (actually) worth having, pursuing, bringing forth into light.

so be it, and so it is.

thank you! thank you! thank you!

namaste, great spirit

Monday, March 21, 2016

long goodbye...

now i have cleaned it all up. i was honest, open and giving ... i was also trapped, longing and missing my life. thank you, dear one for allowing me to see what you knew all along, and that you had predicted : that i was here to rest and to gather energy. you knew (and let me know) that i had something to accomplish, and that i would be here for a time, and that time will be (is) coming to a beautiful and loving end.

thank you for allowing in your heart to love me, and to let me love you; and for showing me what it feels like to be loved, cared for, respected and uplifted. i want you to know that your care renewed my spirit, and gave me a knowing of worthy inside myself. thanks to you i will never allow myself to be emotionally or physically trapped in my life again ... thank you for keeping your promise to hold me close, with arms wide open.

i have thoroughly enjoyed our time together, and am absolutely grateful for the blessing in my life of your wisdom in teaching me so much i did not know. thank you for allowing me to teach you a few things as well. i loved learning by your guidance that i can do anything, and for allowing me to learn this about myself.

thank you for knowing that i was restless and longed for my own dream, even as you tried as hard as you could to bring me into yours. it sounds odd, but thank you for doing what i did not have the courage to do, or the wisdom, or the desire. thank you for allowing me to retain my integrity within this time with you, and thank you for showing me who you really are ... thank you for cheating. yes, that sticks in my craw; yes, i recognize my own culpability. frankly, i don't like being 'the one cheated on' in any way, except the way that i know the truth in it : know that your truth is your longing, and i know that we did (could) not meet each others' needs. still, i wish you had trusted me with the truth (that we both knew anyway), and had not cheated.

i will be fine, even great - i know this.
so will you - i know this too.

thank you, also, for letting me know that you will find your way forward, and that you are certain that i will also. we have had some amazing times together, and for that i am also profoundly grateful. we have shared many laughs, many tears and many, many stories. thank you. and most of all, thank you for being my true friend through it all : that whole 'being my true friend' thing is one you don't get to have back - i'll keep it, thank you very much. i will never not love you - i'll keep that too. it has been sacred to me for the last few years, and remains so ... only trust is gone from who we used to be - and that's not okay. it will take me a bit of time to heal, and i expect it. you should too. also, you are on your way in your new life. i sure hope you can keep up with it! we'll catch up in a while and that'll be just fine ... probably even worth the wait!

as much as i am excited to see my way forward, i am also excited to see yours! here's a cheers! to both of us, sent with as much love as i have in my whole being (and you know that's a lot!). i (choose) to go in peace and to honor the us that was.

it is good that we have been so good together, and too bad that it could not work . i take my share of culpability for that one. i knew that i would not change you, and that i did not want to. i knew that you needed your heart to be shown that it is worthy of great love ~ and it is! is mine.

i choose peace, because i choose peace.

namaste dear one.

Friday, March 18, 2016


a while ago i was thinking about breaks : break-ups, break-downs, heart-break, breaking-points, etc. 

as defined, break is: smash, shatter, fracture, rupture, split, crack, sever. 

in case you were wondering, a person who is stuck tries very hard to run as fast as they can; without realizing the thing in their hand is scissors.

in breaking : up - hearts - downs, etc. i became expert : never intentionally, which is the seeming central theme of the way i did life for most of it. i ended great relationships because they were so great; i ended bad relationships because they were so bad -- i had my heart broken and i broke a few - all of which led inexorably to break-downs in my psyche and self-esteem.

looking at these events from a perspective of healing brings the exquisitely poetic truth that i wouldn't trade any part of any of them for anything. 

having your heart broken is one of the great joys in life ... it means you have loved greatly ... and/or lost greatly.

it is said that life is messy, and it is. in itself, this is wonderful and leads to astonishing, life-changing discovery. as with every balance, however, when you reach the realization that you are inviting your life to be messy (and in fact even subconsciously relishing or dwelling in the effects of messy), and the messiness of it begins invading your psyche to the point of creating psychosis around how you see life showing up, you are doing the initial work of 'break-up' (or 'break-down') even if you don't know it yet -- it's important to begin to pay attention to the way you are talking to yourself and what you are feeling in the middle of you at this time. 

this, literally, is 'make or break' in the lifespan of relationship - with yourself, and with all others who are in life with you. if they are worth saving, this is the moment to act : if you do not, which i have never had the wherewithal to do (until now, in this present, as it happens), it becomes a matter of timing -- when you leave or ask them to is coming - if (you want to think) it isn't, and you have the ability to live blissfully inauthentic, then do nothing ... but the mere fact that you have identified a truth in yourself - that you are allowing or inviting 'messy,' means you are not all that blissful, or inauthentic.

it seems to me that 'the' breaks - all of them - involve communication ... or lack thereof. how are we communicating with others in our sphere, and with ourselves? in the middle of a break of any kind is understanding - the first half is a veritable mire : the ending half, the stuff of miracles - wayshowing ourselves into healing, as we choose, as we allow. how may i improve my understanding within this question?

life has a way of showing us the lessons we are to learn : it is strictly our option to learn them (or not);and be in the joy of creation out of the ashes, as we may allow.

not all messes can be cleaned up, although most can, if willingness is available on the parts of all involved. this is critical -- if one person is left with all the housekeeping, there is no end of 'messy,' only prolonging.

some messes reach impasse and it becomes more attractive to seek a clean slate. i can tell you, however, a layer of soil over a landfill is still a landfill. if you come to the place of break-up, go ahead -- break-down! let yourself feel what you're feeling -- let your heart break, let your soul ache - and then, if you've done the work in yourself to claim your own culpability in the mess, and have done the work of cleaning up your own messy-ness inside, you'll find that being with you is great!

to learn the right-ness within the feeling of being on the brink of 'disaster' is forward momentum : and is the clear-eyed answer you will find - inside. continuing to look, continuing through grief (within acknowledgement of the significance of 'through'), and awakening daily within the sanctity of fresh eyes will bring that momentum, and the indelible answers we (all) crave ... no matter what it looks like in the moment of 'the throes...'

'to meet the right one,' dr. wayne dyer says, 'you have to be the right one' -- 

... would you want to be with you?

the really great thing about a 'break' is it gives you a chance to breathe -- regardless of whether it's a break-up, a break-down, heartbreak, taking or catching a break, or breakfast -- all are, in the end, over soon enough ...


namaste traveler ~

Thursday, March 17, 2016

fresh eyes

faced with a choice so similar in substance to choices presented previously, it becomes clear that this particular lesson longs to be learned : again. as this is happening again, and i am aware of actually what is happening (this time), i look with fresh eyes at the options. what i know in me is that the obvious looking oasis is usually a mirage. 

will i again go with abandon into a seemingly right direction (full of its own consequence and delay and joy in learning and ecstasy in experiencing), or, will i persevere in my self-created struggle to a conclusion of my own making? the question itself (may) appear an answer...

suddenly i question my commitment to creating this (my that) with only myself : this, it seems, has been the teacher's directive for far too long. i have always believed in the power of love : in all its forms. i sometimes think my experience here would be somehow more complete with more complete relationships -- may i find my way within deep relationship, and never fear them, for they are a beautiful way to be ... this time i choose co-creator, and want the experience of learning to be my best, co-created within the experience of my own best co-creators. 

i know i've found 2; but seemingly haven't yet located (or haven't yet allowed) the trinity, to satisfy body, mind and soul in me.

my head says (and sees) that which would assuage (momentarily) an earnest answer to a conundrum i have often faced : what to do about my living situation? my heart knows a different trajectory entirely, one that is solved only with my own fortitude and ability. it is toward my heart that i vow to face this time. the distinction, this time, is the answer to the question that has presented over and over and over : "what will i do next time?" has finally perforated the veil and shown itself as my true path. ahhh, how good to know this, cerebrally. its clarity brings great peace to me ... all the while knowing that i do not yet see my way forward, i do know it. blessings! thanks! and thanks! and thanks! to you, that which is, for the blessing of clarity. amen.

namaste : holy trinity ... wholly co-creating.

Monday, March 7, 2016

access to peace

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
- Maya Angelou

empowering peace : 
allowing love.

peace, in itself is a force. a force is usually considered a being unto itself, a rite of power not well understood in the minds of men. there are a number of forces : a force of nature - a tour de force - the force.

how, then can peace contain within itself force?

acquiring access within the heart, mind and soul is the work of all humans : all other beings have access from their birth. lessons learned along the way are to teach survival. human, by his own bequeathment of 'likeness and image,' has the privilege of learning the gifts of the maker with which he is imbued for his and the maker's own enjoyment. the artist is a grand example of searching one's heart, mind and soul. should we but for a moment, put down our playthings and allow love to swirl around inside awhile, may we feel our way to the force that is the power of peace.

ask yourself : is this worth my suffering? how may i find joy in this very moment? 

to behold beauty in the center of one's being is available to everyone at all times. seek therein, allow. there is love to be found in each and every one of us, if we but dare look.

sometimes the only vision of joy to be found is in the idea of the passing of the moment we find ourselves in, but at least there is that : grieve, forgive, and then allow the moment to pass, consciously in search of joy. we are hard wired to survive, including fright and flight : we are also creatures of faith, courage and extraordinary strength. 

in times of peace there is less fright, for in times of war or conflict humanity's heart conspires to find suffering. the necessity of money among us leads to the necessity of conspiring madness to get it. 'it' itself, is an energy : a force; mankind's allure of it makes evil because of it, but in itself is only an inspiring, aspiring energy. we are inspired to live our own dream, and the beginning of feeling in love with life is the feeling of safety, satiety and the fullness of happy ... the beginning of living a dream.

it is our choice to continue our search for the dream within (consciously), or to allow life to happen as we (unconsciously) bring it. either way, we bring it. we make up stories as we go along to salve our self-inflicted wounds and nurture ego's need for victim-hood. we have it like those of us who do not have 'enough' are victims of the crimes of those who do have enough and are far too unwilling to let those of us who do not have enough have some of theirs and make do with less. the rules we have made around 'enough' say there is not, and can not be, and therefore, giving/sharing suffers. those who 'have' keep it, and those who 'have not' want it. 

we forget that the nature of supply is unlimited. we concentrate on the nature of resources, which is absolutely limited and becomes scarce in taking. the infinite, indefatigable, unlimited power contained in universal intelligence is our birthright : it is ours to find our version of access.

life shows up. sometimes it is lovely - sometimes it is painful. begin to actively 'see' lovely, which is in fact, all around - this is up to each individual of us. no matter the circumstance, more of what we see will evidence (this is law). sometimes we must see first in mind. 

the idea is expanding blessings ... the forwarding of peace, love and giving to humanity in the form of self-empowerment is, and lives within us - if we choose peace, love and giving.

you become what you think about ... what are you thinking about?

namaste traveler... peace to you this day.

the keys to the kingdom


peace to you this day : as you wish, as you allow. it is my wish for you, and my thought for today... within peace is sublimity, within peace is satiety, within peace is foundation for living, within peace is trust.

within living, we constantly search. we may not even be aware of searching, but if we would endeavor to really look, to really listen, to tune in to the beating of our hearts, we will find that there is really only one thought (hope) at the very foundation of all the myriad of hearts, minds, places in the world, or those who are walking our journey with us. trust. should we find that we trust ourselves, may we find trust in our world. this is not to say that gambling and speculating have no place, au contraire : it is in trusting ourselves that we learn to know when and how to gamble and speculate. we won't always win, but if we persevere, taking comfort in our own knowing of our own intuition, we learn what those odd feelings (knowings) actually mean, and furthermore, how to allow them to (divinely) assist with whatever questions we have (and bother to ask). 

trust is, moreover, the common denominator of our relationship with our own divine creator : whatever its name, and the only real condition within our divine relationships with our kindred spirits : all of them. should we find trust we also find ability. the soul-satisfying-ness of knowing ourselves capable : to do, to be -- whatever we choose.

to have a certain amount of say in how it all goes : freedom : satiety.

the cross (of christendom) is the symbolic interpretation of divided/connected. think of it : the vertical line : division/the horizontal line : bridge. it is only one of the great symbols : i'd like to know what your symbolic interpretations are -all are basal depictions of above and below. the trust that each is its own answer : the knowing that one without the other is just a random line. that in order to bridge there must be divide - in order for division to be bridged there must be connection : peace.

within peace are the keys to the kingdom : freedom, light, love. 
within the kingdom : peace.

we are advised to seek first the kingdom . this kingdom is within us, and its name is peace.

military peace is a contradiction in terms, the two words absolutely, diametrically opposed. this brand of trust does not (can not) exist. this version of 'peace' (which seems so very necessary among us : why is that?) is antithetical (mutually incompatible) to trust, to connectedness or to at•one•ment.

Peace cannot be kept by force; 
it can only be achieved by understanding.” 

the truth is ... the only peace there is, is of our own making, should we allow.

namaste, traveler : peace to you this day.