Saturday, May 7, 2016

halls, doorways, and the key

in a vision i had a while back, i found myself staring down a wide, brightly lit, uncluttered, clean hallway not unlike the central hall in the home of my youth. it was a (relatively) long hallway, with neatly arranged, white panel doors on each side. they were closed (locked?), and (i knew in me) it was this hallway, those doors, that were the way into my own next. 

i envisioned (dreamed) what would be (could be) on the other side of each. i knew this hallway to be my own crossroad, the hallway of my own next, and scanned for open doors. not seeing any, i began to explore the possibilities presented in a hallway of closed doors. in my vision, i began to try the bright brass knobs on each. i knew that i had my own golden key, and it would (surely?) open the one that i most wanted to open (wouldn't it?).

the (first) door that opened with my key held a green golden meadow, with soft breezes, beautiful birds and lovely spring green weeping willow trees billowing; just on the other side of a very dark, imposing, seemingly impassable muck pit. not (readily) seeing any other options (and the allure of the lovely feeling of rest this meadow presented), i stepped through. 

immediately i felt myself drop and become hopelessly mired in all that muck : i was sinking, sinking, sinking, slowly becoming sucked into an untenable and potentially deadly predicament. at first, i was so afraid! when i realized that it was (truly) a moment of sink or swim, i gathered myself and called out to the energy of safety ... the mother guide that i had recently been working with appeared and (without ado) instructed me in the art of levitation. i felt myself suddenly lifting myself - vertically - out of the muck. when my feet were clear, i felt myself instruct myself to move forward, over the muck, to the safety of the meadow. 

in the moment that i reached terra firma (the very beautiful meadow), i was bathed, offered fresh white linen clothing, and invited to rest for a time there. while i knew i would be welcome to stay for as long as i would like, i also knew then that this door was not the door of my destination, but also a forwarding of momentum in my journey. i rested, was grateful and savored my time there.

i used the experience to prepare me for entrance back into the hallway, which no longer felt so overwhelmingly desolate or enigmatic. i felt, for the first time, energized, open, and ready to explore. when i was sated, clean and rested, i gathered myself and levitated back over the muck. 

the significance of my own rescue (also) gave me the courage to see my own strength, my own ability and my own loving invitation back into a (more rewarding) journey of my own making. i (for the first time in a very long time) saw the strength inside me, and then i ventured a glance down the hallway. down at the very end, a great distance away, was one slightly open door ... i knew it was a door that was mistakenly closed when i had looked before, and that it was a door that would always be open : the door to my parents' home. i was grateful for it, and knew it as a welcome option, but also had a deep longing to explore the other doors in the hallway. 

the dream ended there, but i learned that it is up to me to seek for open doors, and for the doors that my golden key will avail access. it seems the dream's purpose was to show me itself ... so that i may know that there are other doors, and as long as i am able to use my golden key, i have access to them : i am left to wonder what the other doors in that hallway offer ... and how i may step into my own dream inside them (me).

interestingly, i did go through one other door in that time : but never saw what dream was waiting ... until now. i came to know a dream in me and now endeavor to live my life as i have imagined. 

so be it ... i have created, as i was supposed to, and i am grateful for the inspiration : deep appreciation from a great-ful soul.

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